“Do one thing every day that scares you.”
~ Eleanor Roosevelt
My aunt always says, “If you’re going to worry, why pray. If you’re going to pray, why worry?”
I think about this saying all the time and I can hear her voice saying it to me but the truth is I’m not fearless. Fear has stifled me. So many ideas, dream and opportunities and I can’t begin to count the times I let fear stop me from going for it. I’m not just afraid to fail, I’m afraid of success. Crazy right? I think so too.
How could one fear being successful, happy, living their dreams? I can’t answer the question but I know this is my reality. Even here in this my “private” space, I fear expressing how I feel. Sometimes I don’t update for a week or more and when I think about it all boils down to fear. I don’t want this to be a place of woah is me but sometimes I can’t function in this space because I’m not truly being me. I’m not showing my vulnerability. I’m not sharing my story. I’m not being authentically me. For my birthday I wrote about my Happiness Truths. But yeah fear is a real part of my reality and it interferes with my happiness.
So today I’m throwing caution to the wind and saying it:
“I am afraid and I’m sick of it!”
37 years old and I still don’t know how exactly to get past this but what I do know is I’m not going to hide it. It’s a part of who I am for now anyway. It may never fully go away but I want it to be so tiny, I hardly notice it’s there because right now it is the elephant in the room, the desert in the storm, the one grey cloud in the sky. No longer will I hide how I feel or stifle my vulnerabilities. To truth is, there are many times FHM goes silent because I don’t want to show this part of me. But what’s the point of that? That all ends right here and right now. Bare with me, this is a part of my story. All of it is all of me.
So hello loves. I’m MJ, I’m a wife, a mom, a sister, aunt and friend but I am also afraid. And you are?
AshleyAugust 18, 2014 at 11:49 AM
Your honesty is so refreshing, MJ! So many people are scared to admit being afraid. We all have fears in life that hold us back. Just keep moving, even just a little. Hugs!
M JAugust 20, 2014 at 3:50 PM
Thank you Ashley. If I could only express my heartfelt appreciation gratitude for your support. I could but girl this server may shutdown! I am taking baby steps each day. Hugs back to you!
VeeAugust 18, 2014 at 12:17 PM
Hi MJ. I’m Vee and I can relate! Let’s kick fear to the curb and LIVE FEARLESSLY! *muah*
M JAugust 18, 2014 at 7:16 PM
Thank you Vee! And I agree let’s do it. I certainly have your back 🙂
AdannaAugust 20, 2014 at 2:27 PM
Right there with you MJ! Fear is certainly real problem in my life especially the fear of success. I am glad that you’re confronting your fears. You were bold enough to start this blog so why NOT go all out with it. Thanks for sharing your truth.
M JAugust 20, 2014 at 3:53 PM
THank you Adanna. It’s funny because to me you are FEARLESS! But I understand. We will definitely make it happen. You certainly have my support.