Motherhood

Fear

Fear

“Do one thing every day that scares you.” 
Eleanor Roosevelt

My aunt always says, “If you’re going to worry, why pray. If you’re going to pray, why worry?”

Fear

 

I think about this saying all the time and I can hear her voice saying it to me but the truth is I’m not fearless. Fear has stifled me. So many ideas, dream and opportunities and I can’t begin to count the times I let fear stop me from going for it. I’m not just afraid to fail, I’m afraid of success. Crazy right? I think so too.

How could one fear being successful, happy, living their dreams? I can’t answer the question but I know this is my reality. Even here in this my “private” space, I fear expressing how I feel. Sometimes I don’t update for a week or more and when I think about it all boils down to fear. I don’t want this to be a place of woah is me but sometimes I can’t function in this space because I’m not truly being me. I’m not showing my vulnerability. I’m not sharing my story. I’m not being authentically me. For my birthday I wrote about my Happiness Truths. But yeah fear is a real part of my reality and it interferes with my happiness.

So today I’m throwing caution to the wind and saying it:

“I am afraid and I’m sick of it!”

37 years old and I still don’t know how exactly to get past this but what I do know is I’m not going to hide it. It’s a part of who I am for now anyway. It may never fully go away but I want it to be so tiny, I hardly notice it’s there because right now it is the elephant in the room, the desert in the storm, the one grey cloud in the sky. No longer will I hide how I feel or stifle my vulnerabilities. To truth is, there are many times FHM goes silent because I don’t want to show this part of me. But what’s the point of that? That all ends right here and right now. Bare with me, this is a part of my story. All of it is all of me.

So hello loves. I’m MJ, I’m a wife, a mom, a sister, aunt and friend but I am also afraid. And you are?

You Might Also Like

6 Comments

  • Reply
    Ashley
    August 18, 2014 at 11:49 AM

    Your honesty is so refreshing, MJ! So many people are scared to admit being afraid. We all have fears in life that hold us back. Just keep moving, even just a little. Hugs!
    Ashley recently posted…Leeward Key ReviewMy Profile

    • Reply
      M J
      August 20, 2014 at 3:50 PM

      Thank you Ashley. If I could only express my heartfelt appreciation gratitude for your support. I could but girl this server may shutdown! I am taking baby steps each day. Hugs back to you!

  • Reply
    Vee
    August 18, 2014 at 12:17 PM

    Hi MJ. I’m Vee and I can relate! Let’s kick fear to the curb and LIVE FEARLESSLY! *muah*
    Vee recently posted…I’m going to Blogalicious 2014My Profile

    • Reply
      M J
      August 18, 2014 at 7:16 PM

      Thank you Vee! And I agree let’s do it. I certainly have your back 🙂

  • Reply
    Adanna
    August 20, 2014 at 2:27 PM

    Right there with you MJ! Fear is certainly real problem in my life especially the fear of success. I am glad that you’re confronting your fears. You were bold enough to start this blog so why NOT go all out with it. Thanks for sharing your truth.
    Adanna recently posted…Mommies Rattle and Roll Link-Up Party #2My Profile

    • Reply
      M J
      August 20, 2014 at 3:53 PM

      THank you Adanna. It’s funny because to me you are FEARLESS! But I understand. We will definitely make it happen. You certainly have my support.

    Leave a Reply

    CommentLuv badge

    This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.