Mama Mondays: In Search Of Me Time

ME TIME shouldn’t be a struggle…

I love love love my baby girl. She is my biggest blessing from God. I love love love my husband. Sugar Plum Z stole his spot but he is definitely one of the best blessings granted to me. I love love love the newest bundle growing inside of me. I love love love Big Z! But what I don’t love is my lack of ME TIME. There I said it. Out Loud! Right here. I need some time alone.

Woosah! Even though I grew up in a big family. By family I mean siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles and then all the offspring. We all lived in close proximity in our early years and I currently live in close proximity to a bunch of them. But regardless, alone time was something I always craved, sought out and took even though some people thought I was being mean.

I had 2 roommates in college. I deliberately set my schedules opposite of theirs so I could be alone. And when I was given my own room later on, I was the happiest when I closed my door to the world! In adult life, I adopted a rule my mama had when we were growing up. No calls after 9pm. It better be a real emergency otherwise choice words were said. 

Fast forward to wife life and motherhood in my late 30’s and the constant presence of people, choirs and obligations has me beat! I mean beat down! And the Internet… FORGET ABOUT IT! I’m lost in motherhood barely holding on to the person I was. The person the Hubs fell in love with. Yep I said that too. He can’t possibly truly enjoy this new me. Now we have another baby on the way and I won’t lie. I’m scared sh*tless.

So before the newest bundle of joy arrives, I’m making a conscious effort to carve out a teeny tiny bit of me time. The hubs works long hours so I get that he is exhausted and just wants to chill but I need him to chill with the busy bee that is Sugar Plum Z for a few hours a week. I’m working on getting her into a program two days a week for a few hours after that I’ll have to find some $$ to pay my niece to watch her. She’s studying early childhood education so this will be a win.

One way or another, I need a little me time. There are 168 hours in a week. I’m hoping for 12-16 hours of me time in a week if I can successfully work the above plan. That leaves up to 156 hours for everyone else plus little sleep.

What will I do with my 12-16 hours? Maybe nothing! But truthfully I will pray and meditate. Finish the children’s book I’m writing. Workout. invest time and skills into my blog. Launch one of the businesses I have been sitting on forever! Sip my coffee alone. Take a nap. Paint my nails. Take pictures. Read and be active in the book club I’m a member of. Or maybe I’ll do NOTHING! That last one deserved repeating. NOTHING is a viable option. That’s a lot to get done in a little time but even one task a week will mean a lot to me. Even one… Besides I know this little bit of time will help me be a better wife and mother.

FYI, I’m writing this at 5:08am. I’ve been up since 3! Pray for me.

Update: I wrote this post on 1/11 but never hit publish. Since then I had a mini meltdown but I also got some ME TIME! And I am feeling better already.Yippee!