I was really trying to ignore this but I can’t. Maybe I am naive or missed it over the past few years because on Father’s Day I tend to put on my blinders, but is this the first time there is such uproar about mothers being acknowledged on Father’s Day? Either way, here are my thoughts:
If you decide to wish your mother Happy Father’s Day then go right ahead and do it. Ignore the drama. Do what you feels right for your family dynamic.
Unless you grew up in a single parent household, you do not get to weigh in on this argument and tell people they are doing something wrong. Shut up, enjoy your dad and say a special prayer for those of us who never had that joy.
If you grew up with a single mom and you don’t agree with acknowledging her on Father’s Day, that’s your right but please don’t preach the reasons why to another fatherless child. To each is own.
Single fathers are acknowledged by their children on Mother’s Day. You can’t tell? Maybe that’s because you don’t know any single fathers. I know a few and trust me it happens.
And then there is me. A.FATHERLESS.CHILD.
I am a few weeks shy of living 37 years of life. I remember my father like a shooting star in the sky. A simple moment in time. There was a promise of a bike when I was 5ish. I got a bike but guess what? I got it from my mama. Then I met my father when I was 25 or so. It’s been awkward and after a 4-5 year hiatus, I decided to give him a call last month. Why? Because deep down inside I am still that lost 5 year old girl waiting for that bike. I am still that scarred teenager who survived but really did not thrive after some unspeakable things happened to me. I am still that college student who wrote a poem that ended up published called Daddy’s Eyes. I am still that angry 20 something year old that lived without purpose. And I am now a just shy of 40 woman who is trying to live in a place of happiness, enjoy The Hubs and our girls while repairing the damage from years of sadness, depression and anger. I am still just a girl who really needed her father. So at 37 I am will to try.
Around Father’s Day many of those feelings come back to haunt me but then I remember my strong single mother who is still giving and trying to make up for the hurt, pain and anger that are truly not her fault. Nor are they my father’s fault. Sure they both played a part but as an adult, I own who I am, where I have been, what I’ve done and my road to forgiveness, love and joy.
On Father’s Day, I will always say Thank You Mom for trying to be everything a girl needs from her mother and father. And no debate in the world will change that.
Happy Father’s Day to all the great dads and moms who appreciate the gratitude on this day. And I pray the not so great dads (and moms) try to be great in the years to come.
And to my wonderful Hubs, thank you for being a great father, husband, son, brother, uncle, cousin and nephew. Big Z & Little Z are blessed to have you. So am I.