Brown Baby Love: A Mother’s Journey To Motherhood

“Brown Baby Love is the embodiment of my experience. Loving the unseen, having faith in the unknown and trusting the uncertain. Brown Baby Love is the feeling of the African American mother for her newborn child. I feel it when I look at my now 7-month-old son. I feel it when I touch his caramel skin, when he smiles and his dimples deepen. I feel it when he laughs and his kisses taste like brown sugar. I love that brown baby. I know that I will instill in him the confidence needed to embrace and love the color brown. Although history tried to negate it and make it ugly, brown in all its shades is the most diverse and beautiful color. Its the color of a mothers love.” -Catrice

This beautiful answer to “What does Brown Baby Love mean to you?” Comes from a beautiful story of strength, resilience, faith, hope and yes LOVE. We don’t often share our stories of infertility or the miracle of life and defeating the odds. We may tell our families, even sister friends, but what if we shared our story on a broader platform. One that could potential help another would be mom believe that miracles are possible? Today I am I happy to share with you Catrice’s journey to motherhood. When she answered the question for the series, she included her back-story. To say I cried is an understatement. I too suffered losses and uncertainty in fertility, as have many of my friends. I was humbled by Catrice’s bravery to share her story. Here is her Brown Baby Love letter all about how she became mom to Gabriel and how Gabriel came into this world fighting and continues to win. And now Catrice’s Love Letter:

My husband and I wanted to take our love for each other and share it, we decided it was time to “have us a little one”. A statement easier said than done as Endometriosis slimmed my chances and fibroids complicated it further. Not one for defeat I set off on a mission to get my brown baby love. So my fertility doc mapped out a goal and we set up the best offensive play for me, which would entail surgery followed by a round of IVF.

My surgery was successful and so was IVF during the first round. My pregnancy went swimmingly until I hit 25 weeks. I woke up at 1AM on a Friday morning to my water breaking. There are no words to express the fear of losing a love you worked so hard to create and grow although you have never set eyes on them. I gave birth to my brown baby at 25 weeks and 2 days. Although he was only 1 lb and 13 ounces with an uncertain future, we named him after the angel Gabriel and loved him instantly. For 96 days after he made his early arrival into the world, I commuted to Cohen’s Children NICU unit to watch him grow and develop outside of the comfort of my womb. One of the most memorable points of my life was finally bringing my child home after numerous set backs and greater steps forward.

Signed with an infinite amount of love,

Catrice

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